
One month without my mother.
The sadness is still heavy, like a secret shadow I carry with me. I hesitated for a long time whether to share these pictures and words, because grief is intimate, and yet, it is part of life. And I believe it’s important to find light even in the darkest chapters.
«Grief is the price we pay for love.» – Queen Elizabeth II

She always wanted her farewell to be bright, colorful, and full of joy, no gloomy speeches, but laughter, champagne, and celebration. Because life continues, and she believed that death is not the end, only a checkpoint on our journey.

She wished for a forest burial, her final resting place embraced by nature. I carried her urn from the ceremony to the tree, sometimes smiling, sometimes crying, because grief is not one single face, but many. My sister said something in her speech that will stay with me forever: «The ashes become one with the tree, so I can embrace our mother again.» A thought both heartbreaking and comforting, because it makes her presence eternal.

At her farewell I wore color because fashion is my language, my way of expressing love. A Dolce & Gabbana skirt whispering «Mama, I love you» in every language, and a matching bag with a mother, two daughters, a dog, and a cat, exactly her world. Through clothes I painted the immensity of my love for her.

What touched me deeply: my childhood friends traveled from far away to stand by my side. Their presence was a gentle reminder that love weaves us together across time and distance, and I am endlessly grateful.

She was extraordinary, and she taught me to embrace life with both elegance and humor. And so I honor her not only in grief, but in light. And now life moves forward, I’m on my way to Boston with my daughter, filled with gratitude and excitement for this new journey ahead.
LoL, Sandra

Photos: © Sandra Bauknecht
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