Sandra‘s Closet

Last week, we gathered to say goodbye to my father, in the same forest, beside the same tree, where we stood only two months ago to say goodbye to my mother. The same place, the same quiet air, the same sacred ground that holds both of them now. And although it breaks my heart, it also fills me with peace. They are together again where they always belonged.

We came dressed in black with a touch of green, his favorite color, as he wished, and in the way he always loved me to express my emotions through what I wear: a hat with a Gamsbart, traditional touches he would have smiled at, and the CHANEL bag he gave me as a young girl, the very first one, carried close to my heart today.

And as if the sky wanted to honor him too, the day was bright and cold, a true Kaiserwetter: icy air, but sunlight pouring through the trees, warming us from above. It felt as though he were sending us one last golden greeting.

There was so much love around us. So many memories. My childhood friends came, a gesture that touched me deeply and helped carry me through this day. And all around, I felt kindness, warmth, and support from every side.

At one moment, I leaned toward the tree, the same tree where we stood for my mother, and kissed its bark. And in that brief second, it felt as if I was holding her again. As if the tree had become a bridge between worlds, carrying both of them in its roots and branches. A quiet embrace that wrapped itself around my heart.

My father was the most loyal, honest, and authentic man I have ever known. A true good soul, gentle, humorous, sociable, always ready to help, always seeing the best in others. He loved nature, he loved traveling, he loved wandering through the world with curiosity in his eyes. And he loved deeply especially my mother. Their bond was one of the great loves of a lifetime.

He gave love, and he received love. He lived with kindness, and he left with kindness. And now, after 83 years in this world, he has returned home back into a greater light, back to the woman he loved with all his heart.

It moves me to think that their journeys began and ended in such harmony: Two months apart. One final path leading them back to each other. A circle completed with grace. It was a day of farewell but also a day of gratitude. Gratitude for the memories, for the laughter, for the stories, for the quiet moments, for the love that will stay with us forever.

And as the sunlight shone through the trees, I felt something else too:
A gentle reassurance.
A whisper from above.

We are together again.
We are at peace.
We are watching over you.

Papa, I love you.
Thank you for everything you were, everything you gave, everything you taught me.
You will stay in my heart, always.

And now you are with Mama again.
That thought brings me comfort, and maybe even a little bit of joy.

Rest in peace, Papa.
You are home.

With love, Sandra

Photos: © Sandra Bauknecht
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Rest in Peace Papa 🖤
December 6, 1942 – October 23, 2025

«My father’s love is the quiet light that will forever guide me home.»

Today is my mother’s birthday and though she is no longer with us, I believe she isn’t celebrating alone. My father has joined her on the way to celebrate together, just as they always did in life.

My father was the most loyal, honest, and authentic person I have ever known. A truly good soul, kind to everyone, never speaking an unkind word about anyone. He loved nature, he loved taking the train, he loved to travel and he loved horses and riding. He was sociable, funny, and always there for others. For me, he was simply the best dad anyone could ever wish for.

We shared wonderful journeys together, just the two of us, and later also with my daughter. We relived so many stories and memories on those trips.
Among the photos I’ll show today is one from Rome, our last trip together. The Eternal City will forever be tied to him in my heart. During that trip, I gave him a very special gift, a papal audience at the Vatican, an experience that filled him with joy.

Then there was Iceland, where we traveled all around the island with Anouk, and the US including Chicago, where he came to visit us while we lived there.

And there’s another very special photo from 1985, when I was ten years old. He took me with him on a business trip to Moscow and St. Petersburg because he knew how much I loved ballet. One evening, he took me to the Bolshoi Theatre, in the presence of Mikhail Gorbachev, to watch a ballet performance. That’s who he was, thoughtful, generous, and always finding joy in making others happy.

He passed away through a tragic accident. After breaking his thigh and undergoing surgery, his dementia made him forget that he had been operated on. When he tried to get up, he fell and suffered a severe head injury. The swelling and bleeding became too much for his body.
I was with him through his final days in palliative care, day and night. It was heartbreaking, but also a beautiful farewell, peaceful, full of love, just like when my mother passed away.

They were each other’s great love. I have never seen a couple with such a deep, genuine bond. So it does not surprise me that, only two months after my mother’s passing, my father followed her.

To both of you, I wish you joy and peace up there. Celebrate, laugh, and keep watching over us.
I am forever grateful and proud to have had such wonderful parents.

Dad, I love you. Always.

LoL, Sandra

Photos: © Sandra Bauknecht

One month without my mother.
The sadness is still heavy, like a secret shadow I carry with me. I hesitated for a long time whether to share these pictures and words, because grief is intimate, and yet, it is part of life. And I believe it’s important to find light even in the darkest chapters.

«Grief is the price we pay for love.» – Queen Elizabeth II

She always wanted her farewell to be bright, colorful, and full of joy, no gloomy speeches, but laughter, champagne, and celebration. Because life continues, and she believed that death is not the end, only a checkpoint on our journey.

She wished for a forest burial, her final resting place embraced by nature. I carried her urn from the ceremony to the tree, sometimes smiling, sometimes crying, because grief is not one single face, but many. My sister said something in her speech that will stay with me forever: «The ashes become one with the tree, so I can embrace our mother again.»  A thought both heartbreaking and comforting, because it makes her presence eternal.

At her farewell I wore color because fashion is my language, my way of expressing love. A Dolce & Gabbana skirt whispering «Mama, I love you» in every language, and a matching bag with a mother, two daughters, a dog, and a cat, exactly her world. Through clothes I painted the immensity of my love for her.

What touched me deeply: my childhood friends traveled from far away to stand by my side. Their presence was a gentle reminder that love weaves us together across time and distance, and I am endlessly grateful.

She was extraordinary, and she taught me to embrace life with both elegance and humor. And so I honor her not only in grief, but in light. And now life moves forward, I’m on my way to Boston with my daughter, filled with gratitude and excitement for this new journey ahead.

LoL, Sandra

Photos: © Sandra Bauknecht
DISCLOSURE: We may earn commission from links on this page, but I only recommend products I love. Promised.

Rest in Peace Mama 🖤
October 26, 1946 – August 8, 2025

«Some bonds are written in the soul, untouched by time, unbroken by goodbye.»

One week ago, I said goodbye to my beautiful mom, a truly sensational mother, a loving wife, and a soul who adored animals, especially her dogs, with all her heart. She gave everything for us.

She called me her little Goldfish, and for 50 years, we spoke every single day. My Dad always said I was the other end of the umbilical cord that was never cut and he was right.

When she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, they gave her three months but she fought for a year and a half, facing it with courage, grace, and that unstoppable energy she carried all her life, the same energy she passed on to me. She was a true warrior.

It still feels unreal. This past week, I have felt paralyzed, lost in the silence where her voice used to be. But I know that she would want me to keep going, to follow my path, to live fully, just as she always told me to.

She taught me so much about love, resilience, and believing in your dreams. Long before it was a trend, she was manifesting the life she wanted. She inspired me not just as a mother, but as a human being.

She was my safe place, my constant, my heart. There is no part of me that isn’t shaped by her love. I will miss her laugh, her voice, her everything… but I will carry her with me, always.

Thank you, Mom, for every sacrifice, every hug, every moment. You were, and will always be, my forever home.

LoL, Sandra

Photos: © Sandra Bauknecht