Some people order soup when they’re down with a stomach virus. I, apparently, order fashion.
Last week, somewhere between ginger tea, existential regret, and a heroic amount of electrolytes, I discovered the most perfect accessory for my current condition: a handbag that is, quite literally, a roll of toilet paper. Naturally, I now need it.
The piece comes from Moschino’s Pre-Fall 2026 collection, designed by Adrian Appiolaza, and it is everything one expects from the house that has never taken fashion – or life – too seriously. Crafted in leather but designed to look like an actual toilet paper roll, the bag hangs from a delicate chain. You open it exactly where you’d expect: by unrolling the «paper,» revealing the secret compartment inside. Functional. Conceptual. Slightly alarming.
But if this feels familiar, that’s because it is a very Moschino kind of déjà vu.
The idea itself isn’t entirely new in the Moschino universe. Jeremy Scott already sent a toilet-paper-roll purse down the runway for Moschino’s Fall/Winter 2017 collection, turning the most unglamorous household object imaginable into a luxury accessory. Very on brand for a designer who happily transformed cleaning supplies, fast food, and packaging into high fashion.
Which brings us back to my current situation.
Nothing humbles you like a stomach virus. Your glamorous life collapses into a very specific triangle: the bed, the bathroom, and the vague hope that toast will stay where it belongs. And suddenly, Moschino’s toilet paper handbag stops looking like satire and starts looking like… preparedness.
In German there’s actually a phrase for situations like this: «die Arschkarte ziehen.»
Literally: to draw the ass card. – Meaning: you’re the unlucky one.
Which feels particularly appropriate considering the stomach virus… and the playing card in my Seletti mirror.
Call it survival chic.
Imagine the scene: you arrive at dinner, impeccably dressed, a gleaming leather roll of toilet paper swinging from your shoulder like the most unserious piece of couture ever created. Someone asks, «Is that… toilet paper?»
You smile mysteriously.
«Yes. And it’s designer.»
Fashion has always insisted that luxury lies in the unexpected. Moschino simply asks the obvious follow-up question: How unexpected are we willing to go?
Apparently, all the way to the bathroom.
And frankly – given my last week – I’ve never felt more seen.
LoL, Sandra
Photos: Courtesy of Moschino and © Sandra Bauknecht
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